Long story medium, I used to be involved with a guy who wound up having a girlfriend the entire time. What a plot twist, am I right?
Following the news, a lot of my anger and frustration were directed towards him, but at one point, I had to park the car and put it in reverse and reexamine the situation.
I was friends with his friends long before I met him — why didn’t they do anything to help fix this terrible situation?
I took many normal things into consideration:
- They were closer to him – both in friendship and in proximity.
- They knew the girlfriend.
I knew these factors could be put into play, and I accepted it for what it was worth.
After months had passed, I ran into one of our mutual friends at one of those “electronic dance music gatherings.” As the music took over and I was hit with the feels, I beckoned for the friend and whispered into his ear aka I screamed over the bass and it was still 250% inaudible.
Hey, how come you never advised your boy not to be such a shady fucker? Didn’t you feel bad for me or for his girlfriend or even for his future karma points?! I was honestly kind of upset at you but I got over it and just became more curious as to why you didn’t try to help your friend do the right thing…
Even in my ecstatic state of mind, I was still able to think realistically, already expecting an answer centered around the normal things I had taken into consideration previously. However, he answered:
I can’t tell him what to do; he’s an adult and can make his own decisions.
*Cue the tires screeching*
For some reason, I truly did not expect that answer in the slightest, regardless of what state of mind I was in.
What is a friend, if not someone to laugh with, live with, and grow with? For me, I know that I look to my friends for guidance, as part of a whole moral compass showing compassion and care in order to point me due Kimye’s daughter. I know that I can rely on my friends to be real with me if what I’m doing is a great accomplishment or a poor decision that’ll reflect terribly in the long run. And these roles of friendship are transferrable, of course.
It’s one thing to stand up to a stranger, but it’s another to stand up to someone you love, but isn’t that what friendship is for?
If your friend is going down the rabbit hole, aren’t you interested in accompanying him down the hole or offering to throw a rope down in order to help him out?
Perhaps I’m being naive, or perhaps I’m giving others more benefit of the doubt than they deserve (which is very possible because that happens 25/8), but I can’t get this out of my head.
If you don’t feel the need to help lead your friend on the right path, what’s the point of being friends?
If your friend was doing something pretty awful (ranging in anything from cheating to being an alcoholic or drug addict), where would you step in, if at all? Or is it not your place?
I need answers.