A friend just got out of a relationship with a guy who wasn't really up to her caliber — he was tall and handsome, but also controlling and untrusting. After a year or so in love, they finally ended their relationship, and she's finally feeling happy and free and, most importantly, ready to date. A friend of a friend introduced her to a new guy, and on their first date, she mentioned that he
- was standing outside of his car, waiting for her to come out so he could open the car door for her,
- did not take out his phone once while they were out, and she legitimately has no idea what type of a phone he has because she never saw it,
- noticed that she was a bit cold and without a thought, took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders.
As we're hearing this story and getting giddy in the lunch room, the mood shifts slightly, and we all wonder aloud:
Why is it that when a guy opens a door or gives us his undivided attention or puts a coat over us, we feel surprised/smitten? Why are these acts of decency seen as rarities?
With the shift in our generation's sociopolitical/behavioral/humane climate, it becomes a bit more difficult for people to set boundaries, which is understandable.
Extreme feminists may exclaim that they don't need men to do anything for them, including opening a door for them — WOMEN CAN OPEN OUR OWN DAMN DOORS.
Extreme conservatives might strongly implement proper manners and etiquette as if it were equally as (if not more) important than intellectual knowledge — MEN SHOULD STAND WHEN A WOMAN WALKS INTO THE ROOM.
So what about the people in between?
I think chivalry is not something that we can expect from everyone (there are a lot of shitty people out in the world), but common decency isn't something we should be impressed with. Also, if you're getting shocked and flustered at the fact that someone came up to your front door to get you for a date, then you might not have ever encountered a decent person, and that frightens me because what kind of scum have you been dating?
Let's get one thing clear though: by no means is you opening the door for me equal to me opening my
arms for a hug,
or anything more, for that matter.
Chivalry, kindness, and decency are things we all deserve in a partner, so don't be so surprised when it happens.
when is the last time someone opened a door for you, & do you think chivalry is dead? share your thoughts below!