Over Thinking

Over Thinking 004: “He Sucks At Texting” Update, Following Girls on IG Because They’re Cute, & “Dream Girls”

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

First off, sorry I've been so MIA — work stuff + Cough-chella took a toll on my soul, but I've come back to all of your delightful thoughts + confidings! I answered a handful of them in this post, and will finish the rest next time, so keep 'em coming!

For the next round of vulnerabilities,
I want you to explore your goals.
I want to know what you want in life.
I want to know what your biggest motivation is.
I want to know how you plan to get there.

Just some food for thought. Let's continue!

Hey! Same girl who sent through that "guy who sucks at texting" message. We went on the date, it was good but about half an hour in he got a call, started speaking in Cantonese so I didn't understand anything he said and after he hung up he said he had to leave in 10 minutes. So we wrapped it up, went to pay, then we walked out of the restaurant and he just said "So I guess I'll see you around than." No hug. No nothing. Not even a single text after that. I don't mind though, it's better that it happened like that because now that I look back on it, we wouldn't of worked out I think. Thanks for your response! 

(For all you new readers out there, you can find her anon question in Over Thinking 003, 4th question down).
Well hey there! Ok I feel like what you're explaining to me from beginning to end — with the texting and the call during the date and then not a single text after — is the storyline to a short film about your dating life, and a phone is your recurring symbol throughout. Let's make this turn into the next big thing.

Oh and also, I'm glad you went for it and things took the turn they did; it sounds like he was only capable of putting you on call waiting rather than committing and getting a joint line. Ok I'm done with all the phone-y lines, LOL.

 

If you ever feel down would you post it online? Its one thing to let your thoughts out to the world, but would you care if a work assosiate/client came across it? Sometimes I feel like letting out my thoughts but at the same time I don't think I can because I have clients that follow me and it's probably best if they don't know my internal struggles. 

So if you don't share everyone in the world would think everything is ok but only you know that you're not ok as well as your friends (telling them is optional) 

Have you read my blog!??
Lol, it's all posts that dig into sad parts of my life or subjects that I feel very very vulnerable about. If you've ever met me IRL, you'd know that talking about my feelings is really difficult; it's a whole other story, but I'm one to divert the attention on my problems and focus on yours. I work really hard to let myself go through my writing, blogging about subjects I feel wary about as a catharsis.

With that explanation, yes, if I feel down, I would write about it. I get really uneasy when I put myself out there with my words; what will my coworkers say to me, what will my friends say, will someone who I haven't spoken to since high school message me about this? However, pushing your limits is something only you can do, and for me, I like to push my emotional tolerance with my writing.

When you say "post it online" though, do you mean it with the intentions of having people read it and feel a certain type of way for me, hoping to gain sympathy? Because in that case, no.

I post my thoughts 50% for myself to healthily express my feelings / 50% to hopefully spark a conversation or identify with someone else who might be struggling in the same way I am, in order to show them support in reality.

There's a difference between posting your sadness for everyone to see, and posting your sadness because it makes you feel better — it makes the emotions feel real and captures the rawness of the moment.

I have a personal blog that no one will ever read, and that's where I do a lot of word vomit that I wouldn't want anyone else to read, but it's therapeutic as fuck and the only person I have to worry about judging me is me, so if that's a route you'd like to explore, try creating a private blog or even writing on a word document!

 

I absolutely love your writing and the content you have on your social media platforms (including your work's). I aspire to be in that industry but I have no idea where to start. What did you do to get to be where you are now? 

Well thank you so much for the kind words — I hope to continue to push out more content for you to enjoy, so if you ever have any ideas, feel free to holler via GET VULNERABLE page!

Honestly, I was a bit of a straggler after college, and I finally decided to fall more into debt and go to grad school, but I also decided that I really wanted to work towards something career-wise while I was still young and able to multitask. Knowing that I was a decent writer, I asked a college friend if she had any copywriting positions available at her job, and she was incredibly encouraging and offered me a social media job, even though the position didn't even exist at her work + I had no background in social media other than the fact that I was on it 25 hours a day. I took a leap of faith and with her leadership + commitment towards wanting me to be successful, I trial/errored my way into doing what I do now! And I know people are always wondering this next question:

 

Just curious, what's your job?

Who knows.

 

Secret: lowkey really wish I could meet viva in real life that would be a dream come true 

Secret: highkey same she sounds pretty dope

 

Do you think it's appropriate for a guy to follow a woman on insta (mostly) because she's cute, when they're not friends IRL? Been following your insta along with a couple other models' for a while (mostly women who are also funny), but kinda feel like the line between that and just stalking a stranger's FB is mad blurry. Thoughts?

Wait a second — are you categorizing me with "models" because like wow, thank you so much~
lol anyway,

This is an interesting topic; I mean if you look at your question in a general sense, it's kind of like asking people if it's ok to follow celebrities, right? Like why do any of us really follow Kylie Jenner (note: I don't follow her but I wouldn't mind being her when I grow up)? Social media is a way for you to connect with a person who you might not know IRL, but you admire them for some reason, whether it's their fashion sense, personality, or all the memes they post.

I guess it all depends on what your intentions are, and also who you're putting in this category; if you're following thots who are posting pics that are basically nudes,

then you're creepy af.

But if you're following real girls who post real content and are full of personality,

then you're only just a little creepy.

Just kidding (or am I).

 

Hello miss Christina I am a long time follower of your writing and I think you are perfectly qualified AF! I love all of your once in a while Wednesdays videos and think you’re one of the funniest people! Do you have any plans to set up meet and greets? If not can you please give off a location so I can bump into you but attempt to make it look natural and happenstance? maybe at a gym or a public place!

wait i thought of a solution please teach a dance class i will be there !

Hello, Miss(ter) Anonymous, thank you! Ok well I'm totally going to make more vlogs just for you, but I'm pretty sure if I did a meet and greet, there would be -42 people there, so maybe you can attempt to run into me in a public place. If I ever teach a dance class, I'll make sure to post it on IG so you can secretly be there.

 

Last night I was talking to the guy I like (he says he likes me back, we've been seeing each other for a while now, we've even made out and stuff several times but it's too soon to really get in a relationship and he says he wants to get to know me better and honestly I need to work on my trust issues before I get into one anyway so I said the same) about romance movies and he suddenly tells me that they give him hope and that when he watches them he envisions himself living that life with his DREAM girl. And I was just like "ouch…" does that mean that I'm NOT his dream girl? That I'll NEVER be his dream girl? Why would he even say that to me in the first place knowing I like him and when I replied back very coldly all he said was "yeah sorry I'm weird" he didn't pick up the fact that him like romance movies isn't weird, it's weird that he'd straight up tell me this. I don't wanna know about his dream girl. Heck now I'm pondering through my brain what his dream girl is like and how I can amount to her because what if one day his dream girl walks by and I lose him or what if he sees I'm nothing like her and leaves? I want to talk to him about these things, especially I wanna ask if he's seeing other girls but I'm so scared 1. To know and 2. To come off too strong again (I brought up the relationship talk ugh) I don't know what to do. I really like him. I know I want to be with him. I'm just scared and now I'm even more scared. 

First off, TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
AND THEN LIKE TWELVE MORE.

Ok, from my third party perspective with no ties to you or this guy, I think it's safe to say that you're definitely in like with this guy, and it's making you feel some type of way — a way that makes you question yourself and make you feel slightly insecure at times, when you shouldn't feel that way. The beginning stages of dating always make you question and doubt yourself, and you somehow end up sabotaging yourself, making this relation go to shit before it even turns into a real ationship. So take a moment to reevaluate all of these thoughts and ask yourself where they're coming from, and if they're warranted.

Now, going to his comment — let's try and come up with a parallel situation right now. Say you two saw a couple getting engaged next to you while eating dinner, and you start talking about how you want a princess cut ring. The moment gets awkward when you realize that you've only been dating for a little bit, and you fucking brought up MARRIAGE. Do you see yourself marrying this guy? Well maybe, but also like it's too soon to say, plus you don't want to freak him out thinking that you're already thinking about your happily ever after, right?

Take a step back. When he's talking about his dream girl in a romantic movie, is it really warranted for you to assume that he is or isn't talking about you?

Take another step back. Given how long you've been dating, are you even sure you want to be his dream girl just yet?

Don't OVER THINK it — that's my job with these Over Thinking posts.

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get vulnerable.