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Modern Love

At the beginning of 2017, I made a short video lying in bed with some fairly realistic goals to start off my year. Throughout my highs and lows of 2017, I found myself remembering that video and those goals, reminding myself that I had some work to do and to not let the January 1st, 2017 version of myself down.

My goals were simple: 

  1. Write at least 1 blog post every two weeks on my personal blog
  2. Get a pay raise or start a new job
  3. Submit a piece of writing to the New York Times
  4. Hang out with more people one on one (and make them play Pie Face)
  5. Help as many people as possible with things involving writing

 

They were all fairly easy.

Ok jk they totally weren't, and I was going to give a quick overview here, but as I started to develop a little on each topic, the post got longer and longer, so click here for a separate post on a brief overview of my goals and how they were/weren't achieved. 

A good way to set goals for yourself, both long-term and short, is to set realistic goals for yourself; there's no way I'm going to learn how to be invisible by the end of the year, so I'm probably not going to set a goal as "Learn how to be invisible," unless I'm talking about being invisible in a social setting, like metaphorically, in which case, ok maybe. However, setting a goal that isn't impossible but is challenging enough, and is well within your Zone of Proximal Development (ayeee Masters Degree in work okaaaay), is optimal. 

And long story short, I kind of achieved all or parts of each goal that I set for myself…

except for one.

 

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The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. II

Okay, so there really isn’t a good way to break up with someone,

but there sure are a lot of dumb ass ways to do it.

In continuation of The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. I, here are more delightful stories of friends getting dumped by some shitty ass people!

Was Your Ex Really Better Than Your Next?

“I once got a phone call from my ex girlfriend telling me that my current girlfriend wanted to break up… so…”

— II

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Ghost Buster.

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-8-50-20-pm

A friend, let’s call her Nina, told me that she had recently been hanging out with a guy that she had been acquaintances with for the past few years. Things were going great, the chemistry was there, and she was really going with the flow — yay! A few dates in, Nina was pretty pleased with where this was going,

until she suddenly realized that she was going nowhere.
Alone.

All of their mediums of conversation (IG, FB, Snap, text) became barren. She had heard of people being ghosted before, but had no clue that it would happen to her, especially since he apparently couldn’t tap his thumbs to text her back but was still double-tapping on all of her photos.

I think the most irritating part for me was that I was very upfront about my intentions. In hanging out and getting to know each other, I was looking for a partner/bae/boyfriend/husband/baby daddy. I told him right off the bat that we were both big kids and should just be honest about everything. If he wasn’t feeling it, why couldn’t he just say it?

I’m an adult

The heartbreak? I could handle.

The “not knowing” was the part I couldn’t.

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The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. I

 

There are some really awesome people in this world who truly impact your lives positively, offering happiness and guidance in a great way.

And then,

there are some shitty ass people who do not deserve a second of your time or energy because they’re selfish twits.

Break ups are never easy, but sometimes, they’re just hot messes (mostly because you’re involved with a shitty ass person). With that, here are a few real break up stories that I’ve gathered via FB to hopefully brighten your day and let you know that no matter what kind of heartbreak you’ve experienced,

at least the guy you were dating wasn’t cheating on you with other guys.

Enjoy!

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For the Fallen Palm Springs Police Officers

The sun shone in my eyes after noon last Saturday, and as any person in my generation does, I checked my texts.

I clicked into the article; it had only been started 23 minutes prior. There was a shooting in Palm Springs, and two officers had been killed, one injured. The Desert Regional Medical Center was on lock down. That’s all the information they had at the moment.

We hear about these incidents nationwide, seemingly more often than normal these days. We read articles; we watch videos; we become concerned, angry, frustrated, and confused. We do not reach a resolution, and as a result, we become desensitized.

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FUN Night Stands | Vol. II

Your 20’s, 30’s … 40’s? 50’s?! (I’m not judging) are for moments of laughter, love, and amazing stories that usually start with a swipe right and end with dignity left behind.

Last year, I conducted research for an article via Facebook status, but I ended up with an abundance of useless stories that made me chuckle and realize that my friends are crazy as hell. I think upon first meeting, most people think I’m a wild child and have interesting stories due to the fact that I used to school everyone on Tinder, but unfortunately, that’s not the case.

Luckily, I do know people who are wild and interesting, so please enjoy the second volume of FUN Night Stands, and if you haven’t read the first one,

are we even really friends?

Enjoy.

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Cheat Codes (Of Conduct In A Relationship)

As I was scrolling through a million pics of KarJenner look-alikes on Tumblr one evening, I decided to sift through my drafts — these posts were most likely created at 3am on my bed in my college apartment, as I questioned my life, but most importantly, asked myself constantly, “Y DON’T BOYZ LYKE ME?”

Then, I found this:

“What are your feelings towards dating someone who has cheated on you in the past (not on you)? If you’ve cheated in a past relationship, is it your obligation to tell your new partner? What are your feelings towards dating someone new who knows that you’ve cheated in the past? What would you do or say (if anything) to your person about your past?

(don’t forget you have 2 people who answered this question in your inbox + potential blog post)”

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Nature vs. Keeping it in Your Pants

The radio stations in LA love to discuss relevant topics attributed to our lives as young 20 something year olds who are just trying to be Snapchat famous (follow me @ KIKIII). A topic they constantly converse over is cheating in a relationship, aka my

favorite
topic
EVER
.

One day, they were discussing whose fault it was in the relationship if someone cheats. and one of the males on the station claimed that

it’s the woman’s fault in the relationship if he cheats. The woman should be keeping herself looking good for her man, so if she starts losing momentum (i.e. doesn’t go to the gym anymore, doesn’t put on make up, etc.), it’s in his nature to find someone else who will look good for him. 

And then I got into an accident.

Just kidding. But I was ready for this ‘radio personality’ to get his ca-rear ended immediately.

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Mum’s the Word.

 

I was sitting in the back of a classroom full of 10th graders, the majority of whom are taller than me. Strolling into class late with his Beats blaring, a fresh nose piercing, and jeans that could definitely win a SAG award for different reasons than Leonardo had, Nick took a seat with his other tablemates — two ridiculously shy female students who blushed even while having casual conversations amongst themselves.

Caught in a daze and doodling in my notebook, I thought back on the conversation I had with his teacher. A few days ago, Nick’s teacher informed me that he was identified as an emotionally disturbed child, and had an Individual Education Program. She said he didn’t really like to talk, nor did he care to do his work, and that this was his third high school he’s been in.

You’re a teacher, right?

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I Love You…r Face.

Growing up as a second generation Korean America, you don’t hear the words “I love you” very often. Yung Stina found herself very jealous of her white friends who got love from their parents just because they threw something away in the trash can; meanwhile, my sister and I washed dishes, took out the trash, got straight A’s, and cured cancer, receiving words along the lines of, “Do better.”

With that, saying “I love you” was not really in my vernacular, until I moved to white suburbia and you could love literally everything like I seriously can not even.

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