Over Thinking

Over Thinking 005: Emptiness and Comfort, Wanting More Friends, & Self-Reliance

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

This month had a surprisingly interesting theme — surprising because so many of you had such diverse yet similar thoughts on the topic of friendship

Friendship is a concept that evolves in such a peculiar way:

When we're young, we're told to be nice and make friends; share with one another and be kind, regardless of how long you've known them.
When we're teenagers, friends can change based on factors ranging from family troubles to who stuffs their bra to who stole your crush.
When we're young adults, we realize that friends are important, but going on dates or finding "the one" is even more important.
When we're older, we don't know who to trust anymore, and we become skeptical of everything and everyone.

And when we're Lil Uzi, all our friends are dead.

Alright, I won't make you read any more than you should, because I answered all of these questions thoughtfully, and we all know that thoughtfully is synonymous to wordy AF.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 004: “He Sucks At Texting” Update, Following Girls on IG Because They’re Cute, & “Dream Girls”

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

First off, sorry I've been so MIA — work stuff + Cough-chella took a toll on my soul, but I've come back to all of your delightful thoughts + confidings! I answered a handful of them in this post, and will finish the rest next time, so keep 'em coming!

For the next round of vulnerabilities,
I want you to explore your goals.
I want to know what you want in life.
I want to know what your biggest motivation is.
I want to know how you plan to get there.

Just some food for thought. Let's continue!

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 003: Dating Older Guys, “He Sucks At Texting,” & Writing Careers

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

You guys are really going in with these anonymous thoughts, questions, and concerns, and I'm so so so humbled each time I get a notification for a new contribution. Keep them coming, for I hope that the anonymous comment box can act as a wall thin wall between you and your problems; you're going to want to keep yourself guarded from these truths, but verbalizing your thoughts is one step closer towards tearing that wall down. I guess the only thing you have to focus on is if you're ready to do that.

Be like Joey in this pic; listen to the wall, understand that these problems might reflect who you are as a person, but remember that your reflection can open the door to change.

Wow that was deep AF.  

Oh also, if these questions are URGENT or TIME SENSITIVE, don't hesitate to mark them as such! These next few sound like they needed answers quickly, so I apologize ūüôĀ

With that being said, lehhgo.

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Life

CON-fidance

After opening up my anonymous ask box last month, I noticed that I was getting quite a few submissions on my confidence, as well as requests for tips on being confident. At first, I responded to one in a light hearted but totally sincere manner:

Whoa, is this like inception because I screenshot my own post?
Anyway,

For the most part, this is exactly how I view my confidence, but lately, I've gone through a lot more slumps and low moments than I'd like, and the only thing that can pull me out of these rutts is 

myself. 

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Small Talk

Small Talk 003: Chivalry’s Resurrection

A friend just got out of a relationship with a guy who wasn't really up to her caliber — he was tall and handsome, but also controlling and untrusting. After a year or so in love, they finally ended their relationship, and she's finally feeling happy and free and, most importantly, ready to date. A friend of a friend introduced her to a new guy, and on their first date, she mentioned that he

  1. was standing outside of his car, waiting for her to come out so he could open the car door for her,
  2. did not take out his phone once while they were out, and she legitimately has no idea what type of a phone he has because she never saw it,
  3. noticed that she was a bit cold and without a thought, took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders

As we're hearing this story and getting giddy in the lunch room, the mood shifts slightly, and we all wonder aloud:

Why is it that when a guy opens a door or gives us his undivided attention or puts a coat over us, we feel surprised/smitten? Why are these acts of decency seen as rarities

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Life

No Stress Zone.

If you’re a millennial, you’ve most likely heard at least once in your life¬†that you’re lazy, that you should be more productive, or that you should have been a doctor or lawyer ‚ÄĒ unless you already are… to which I say

my mom would be v proud of you.

 

For most of us though, we are looking to become a version of ourselves that we’re proud of.

We’re looking for¬†our¬†calling; we’re looking¬†for that job that doesn’t¬†feel like it’s a job; we’re looking for that¬†rewarding¬†career¬†that makes our hearts (and our wallets) happy.

We are persistently in search of the right path towards happiness, towards fulfillment, towards an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, and with that search comes the notion that we are not working hard enough.

We stay late at work,
even though we’re not getting paid overtime.
We put 240% into any and everything we do
,
even though we’re not getting recognized.
We can’t do nothing on a Sunday afternoon,
even though¬†we’re the only ones measuring the nothing-ness.

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 001: Intro, Friends, & Riverside Fuccbois

Introducing…

Over Thinking.

For when you’re over-thinking a topic/situation/problem and you just become SO OVER thinking about it.

How do Over Thinking posts work?

At the top of¬†the homepage of underqualifiedAF, you’ll see a string of words:

something on your mind?

Click through and you’ll find an anonymous ask box, where you can share a thought, tell me something good, or get something off your chest. I’ll answer these monthly, and some thoughts might turn into full posts themselves, so seriously,

get vulnerable.

 

Here we go!

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Uncategorized

The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. II

Okay, so there really isn’t a¬†good way to break up with someone,

but there sure are a lot of dumb ass ways to do it.

In continuation of The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. I, here are more delightful stories of friends getting dumped by some shitty ass people!

Was Your Ex Really Better Than Your Next?

“I once got a phone call from my ex girlfriend telling me that my current girlfriend wanted to break up… so…”

‚ÄĒ II

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Uncategorized

Ghost Buster.

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-8-50-20-pm

A friend, let’s call her Nina, told me that she had recently been hanging out with a guy that she had been acquaintances with for the past few years. Things were going great, the chemistry was there, and she was really going with the flow ‚ÄĒ yay! A few dates in, Nina was pretty pleased with where this was going,

until she suddenly realized that she was going nowhere.
Alone.

All of their mediums of conversation (IG, FB, Snap, text) became barren. She had heard of people being¬†ghosted before, but had no clue that it would happen to her, especially since he apparently couldn’t tap his thumbs to text her back but was still double-tapping on all of her photos.

I think the most irritating part for me was that I was very upfront about my intentions. In hanging out and getting to know each other, I was looking for a partner/bae/boyfriend/husband/baby daddy. I told him right¬†off the bat that we were both big kids and should just be honest about everything. If he wasn’t feeling it, why couldn’t he just say it?

I’m an adult.¬†

The heartbreak? I could handle.

The “not knowing” was the part I couldn’t.

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