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How to Deal with Funemployment.

To all of you who graduated and have a secure job (with benefits!), congrats!

Bonus points to you if you graduated with a major that didn’t necessarily promise a steady income and have a secure job — who said the engineers and the premed students were the only ones with promising futures?

You worked hard during undergrad to turn that internship into your dream job, or you slept with the right person/people to get to where you’re at today. Either way, you all are truly the stars of our generation; you are the young adults that my mom would probably be proud of.

However, to those of us who weren’t so fortunate to land a job or even a paid internship remotely close to the career that we want to head towards:

life sucks, huh?

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5 Ways to Get Boys to Like You (With Foolproof Tips!)

Let’s face it; we’re all trying to find someone, and some of us may be searching harder than others. No matter how much effort you are or aren’t putting forth into finding Mr. Right, most of us see the end of our career paths / life journeys with a companion. We’re not sure what Mr. Right looks like, except for the fact that he’s tall and handsome with a great personality but also knows how to party sometimes and has his own Netflix account due to his high paying job that doesn’t take him away from his family.

But we’re not picky.

After years and years of extensive research, I have come up with a helpful guide for all the single ladies (and fellas, holler) out there in search for “The One.” My research includes, but is not limited to, judging people who are in relationships.

Whether you’re looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, these five strategies to acquire a man speak of nothing but the truth, so let’s begin.

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“Basic Bitches Are So Basic” – The Modern Girl 2.0

I had to tutor one of my Beverly Hills prep school students with her poetry assignment that she had to recite in front of her class and family for poetry night. Inspiration struck me as I sat at yet another cafe sipping on maybe my 232,018th cup of coffee. Here’s some light reading for your Saturday. I haven’t been on FB for a week almost because I’ve been trying to get my school work done and I’ve found myself becoming an avid Tweeter/Snapchichatter/Instagrandma/Tinderella. Life is so hard. Bye.

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For Mom.

EDIT 05.14.17:

The month of May always signifies a time in which we all look for photos of our moms rocking bangs and huge glasses to post on social media. We see a ton of captions on IG that are surprisingly longer (and easier to write) than a lot of writing assignments in school. Our thoughts flow out effortlessly, as we praise our moms for putting up with us for X amount of years and being sassy AF. 

Sometimes I wonder though — does it stop there?
After 140 characters, after we press the "share" button on the top righthand corner, after we like our friends' comments reinforcing and affirming in fact that yes, our moms DO rule,
does it stop there?

Do any of us take those loving letters that create those sentimental sentences to express those encouraging emotions and tell it to our mothers?

I'm just asking because I know that it's pretty difficult for me to express how I feel IRL, and I can feel nothing but jealousy to all of you who have the courage, the love, and the boldness to share those thoughts directly. 

Alright, now back to this blog post that I'll most likely not have the courage to share with my mom:

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A Kiss Vs. A Kiss

Loosely (and I mean really loose like… you can finish that comparison) based on real events, this post is best read either sitting on the couch under a blanket and happily in love with your boo, or sitting on your bed with a bag of Hot Cheetos and happily on #hoatus. If you’re on the #foreveralone #pityme #imsosingle #crazycatlady train, you better choo choo on outta here because this isn’t really uplifting.

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OmG LykE Do You Want A F*cking Cookie??

***THIS POST IS SO CHAOTIC IDK WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS/IF YOU FEEL WHAT I FEEL/IF I MAKE SENSE SO IF YOU HAVE THOUGHTS AND INSIGHT… TALK!***

Close your eyes and imagine this scenario.
Well don’t close them because then you can’t read this but mentally close them.

It’s late one Tuesday night and you’re sitting at home scrolling through Instagram when you see that your high school ex posted this super super long and sweet post about his girlfriend of 676543234 years, saying how amazing she is and how his life would be so much different/worse without her. As much as you want to believe in the goodness of humanity and modern day romance, you have to hold your thumb back. Does this deserve your double tap? Let’s reflect.

Remember when he dated you, broke up with you at homecoming, and then KISSED YOUR ARCH NEMESIS AT THE DANCE THAT NIGHT? And then he kept texting you while they were dating, begging for you back, and you went through mild psychological dilemmas every day, wondering if you should ignore him and be happy or if you should just yo-fuckin-lo and screen shot all of those texts he was sending you and blast them on Twitter @HisNewBoo?

Alas, you decided to take the high road (in contrast to your friends’ suggestions) and let him go on being happy and wonderful with his new lady while you attempted to just live life. You knew that no good would come of it, and it’s better not to dwell on the past. Let him go, maybe karma will get him, you don’t care. Either way, as TSwift once said, one must “shake it off, shake it off, oh oh oh.”

 

You can mentally open your eyes again.

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Life

For Dad.

I've been contemplating over and over whether or not I would want to write a blog post about this certain topic, but after much deliberation, why not? I think it's because of the fact that I am weird and I will be uncomfortable with either outcome – if no one reads it, I feel like I'll have written it for no reason and then it's like almost turning the subject vain, yet if everyone reads it, well… everyone's going to read it. Nawmean? Also, I don't like that this content is juxtaposed to other silly things that I write in this blog, sigh. But I guess it just shows that I'm multifaceted? I don't know. Damn, I can really talk myself into doing anything. Sigh.

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It’s Not Even My Birthday (My Birthday).

Remember in high school when it was your birthday, and your best friends would bake you cakes and coordinate shirts to spell out your name or something? And your phone would be buzzing with all the texts, and you’d feel the love via, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLLLL SEE YOU 5TH PERIOD!!! XOXO”. And it kind of sucked if you had a summer birthday or a birthday during a break/weekend because you wouldn’t get to see your friends (aka you wouldn’t get any cake).

**This might be only relevant to my friends from high school cause we went all out for everyone’s birthdays, sigh.**

Anyway, on Sunday, I will be turning 23.

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Soul/Sole/Seoul Mates.

First, click here and calculate the possibility of your soulmate. It’s kind of sad, I’m not going to lie hahah. I knew my chances at love where failing when the first question was “Choose your nearest city” and my nearest city was about 50 miles away… sigh. Thanks Jeff Taulbee for sending me this link late on a Thursday night when I was alone and thinking about how depressing my life is. Truly, I’m grateful. Sigh.

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