If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.
In an attempt not to procrastinate, I've set reminders to schedule new upcoming posts.
We'll get through this together, I promise :')
Tag Archives: dating
Consistency vs. Intensity
I was standing in line at Starbucks and scrolling through the plethora of videos on my FB feed because that's basically what FB is, am I right?! Usually, I don't watch or stream any videos because I'm not on an unlimited data plan and am constantly paying $15/month extra for those overage charges (oops), but I had already connected to that free wifi, so I felt like a video-watching baller.
I then came across this video:
I nodded along after every sentence, as I believed in it as well. It's not about the intensity; it's about the consistency of the little things that accumulate over time. And no, we aren't talking about the little materialistic things (although stacks on stacks on staaaaacks of Gucci bags are nice tbh).
We're talking about the small gestures,
the unspoken acts of kindness,
the sweet moments of give and take, with you altruistically and unknowingly giving much more than taking.
I went through the comments per usual, and scrolled through waaaaay more negative feedback than I would have imagined. To me, the argument of consistency versus intensity seemed, well…
obvious,
but to quite a few others, it wasn't as black and white as such.
Modern Love
At the beginning of 2017, I made a short video lying in bed with some fairly realistic goals to start off my year. Throughout my highs and lows of 2017, I found myself remembering that video and those goals, reminding myself that I had some work to do and to not let the January 1st, 2017 version of myself down.
My goals were simple:
- Write at least 1 blog post every two weeks on my personal blog
- Get a pay raise or start a new job
- Submit a piece of writing to the New York Times
- Hang out with more people one on one (and make them play Pie Face)
- Help as many people as possible with things involving writing
They were all fairly easy.
Ok jk they totally weren't, and I was going to give a quick overview here, but as I started to develop a little on each topic, the post got longer and longer, so click here for a separate post on a brief overview of my goals and how they were/weren't achieved.
A good way to set goals for yourself, both long-term and short, is to set realistic goals for yourself; there's no way I'm going to learn how to be invisible by the end of the year, so I'm probably not going to set a goal as "Learn how to be invisible," unless I'm talking about being invisible in a social setting, like metaphorically, in which case, ok maybe. However, setting a goal that isn't impossible but is challenging enough, and is well within your Zone of Proximal Development (ayeee Masters Degree in work okaaaay), is optimal.
And long story short, I kind of achieved all or parts of each goal that I set for myself…
except for one.
Over Thinking 007: Feeling SINGLE AF, Going Through Your S.O.’s Phone, & Seeking Help
If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.
Old blog, who dis?
Ok but in all honesty, I apologize deeply; I quit my job and started a new one, I have been trying to vlog once a week and create some video content here and there, and I'm just tired.
Like all the time.
IT IS THE WORST.
However, that is no excuse, so let's get to your anonymous submissions!
The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. II
Okay, so there really isn’t a good way to break up with someone,
but there sure are a lot of dumb ass ways to do it.
In continuation of The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. I, here are more delightful stories of friends getting dumped by some shitty ass people!
Was Your Ex Really Better Than Your Next?
“I once got a phone call from my ex girlfriend telling me that my current girlfriend wanted to break up… so…”
— II
Ghost Buster.
A friend, let’s call her Nina, told me that she had recently been hanging out with a guy that she had been acquaintances with for the past few years. Things were going great, the chemistry was there, and she was really going with the flow — yay! A few dates in, Nina was pretty pleased with where this was going,
until she suddenly realized that she was going nowhere.
Alone.
All of their mediums of conversation (IG, FB, Snap, text) became barren. She had heard of people being ghosted before, but had no clue that it would happen to her, especially since he apparently couldn’t tap his thumbs to text her back but was still double-tapping on all of her photos.
I think the most irritating part for me was that I was very upfront about my intentions. In hanging out and getting to know each other, I was looking for a partner/bae/boyfriend/husband/baby daddy. I told him right off the bat that we were both big kids and should just be honest about everything. If he wasn’t feeling it, why couldn’t he just say it?
I’m an adult.
The heartbreak? I could handle.
The “not knowing” was the part I couldn’t.
FUN Night Stands | Vol. II
Your 20’s, 30’s … 40’s? 50’s?! (I’m not judging) are for moments of laughter, love, and amazing stories that usually start with a swipe right and end with dignity left behind.
Last year, I conducted research for an article via Facebook status, but I ended up with an abundance of useless stories that made me chuckle and realize that my friends are crazy as hell. I think upon first meeting, most people think I’m a wild child and have interesting stories due to the fact that I used to school everyone on Tinder, but unfortunately, that’s not the case.
Luckily, I do know people who are wild and interesting, so please enjoy the second volume of FUN Night Stands, and if you haven’t read the first one,
are we even really friends?
Enjoy.
Cheat Codes (Of Conduct In A Relationship)
As I was scrolling through a million pics of KarJenner look-alikes on Tumblr one evening, I decided to sift through my drafts — these posts were most likely created at 3am on my bed in my college apartment, as I questioned my life, but most importantly, asked myself constantly, “Y DON’T BOYZ LYKE ME?”
Then, I found this:
“What are your feelings towards dating someone who has cheated on you in the past (not on you)? If you’ve cheated in a past relationship, is it your obligation to tell your new partner? What are your feelings towards dating someone new who knows that you’ve cheated in the past? What would you do or say (if anything) to your person about your past?
(don’t forget you have 2 people who answered this question in your inbox + potential blog post)”
Nature vs. Keeping it in Your Pants
The radio stations in LA love to discuss relevant topics attributed to our lives as young 20 something year olds who are just trying to be Snapchat famous (follow me @ KIKIII). A topic they constantly converse over is cheating in a relationship, aka my
favorite
topic
EVER.
One day, they were discussing whose fault it was in the relationship if someone cheats. and one of the males on the station claimed that
it’s the woman’s fault in the relationship if he cheats. The woman should be keeping herself looking good for her man, so if she starts losing momentum (i.e. doesn’t go to the gym anymore, doesn’t put on make up, etc.), it’s in his nature to find someone else who will look good for him.
And then I got into an accident.
Just kidding. But I was ready for this ‘radio personality’ to get his ca-rear ended immediately.
I Love You…r Face.
Growing up as a second generation Korean America, you don’t hear the words “I love you” very often. Yung Stina found herself very jealous of her white friends who got love from their parents just because they threw something away in the trash can; meanwhile, my sister and I washed dishes, took out the trash, got straight A’s, and cured cancer, receiving words along the lines of, “Do better.”
With that, saying “I love you” was not really in my vernacular, until I moved to white suburbia and you could love literally everything like I seriously can not even.