Guys, I’ve been single for a while, and I’ve reached that point of #foreveralone satisfaction and bliss, nominating myself as the Best Third-Wheel Ever and buying myself chocolates on Valentine’s Day. My best friend does this thing where we argue but it’s a joking argument but it has like 13% truth behind it but not really but really, you know? One night, I put my singleness on blast, per usual. She was telling me how she really came up with her boyfriend; he blossomed from our first year at college to our now fourth year. I agreed, and said that my boyfriend made progress too but I was unfortunately unable to see the progress because he was… invisible – cue laughter. She responded by saying that I’m single by choice; I could get a guy if I really wanted.
When it comes to phones, computers, and tablets, technology, you’re doing a fantastic job. When it comes to relationships, technology should be referred to wrecknology, because as Miley maybe once said, a wrong text or tweet could come in any time like a wrecking ball.
The concept used to be simple. “Forgive and forget.” That’s all we had to say when little Jimmy or little Susie tripped us on the playground. They would be forced to say they were sorry, you’d get a cool band-aid, and everything would be fine.
Nowadays, we’re all about those meaningful quotes that we see on Tumblr, you know, those white texts on black backgrounds or those black sharpies on random paint cards (that make no sense by the way) that read something stoic like, “Forgive, but never forget.”
It’s a Wednesday night and my roommate is flipping through DVDs, looking for something to watch, something that we don’t have to think hard to understand yet will intrigue us enough to provide for a few chuckles, one or two outbursts at a bitchy character, and a happy ending. We decided on the RomCom “Just Wright” with Queen Latifah, Common, and an actress whose name I’m too lazy to look up on IMDB. Little did I know that the movie would basically sum up my dating life.. kind of not really but secretly. I couldn’t help but think about the idea of being the “Plan B” girl, and no, we aren’t talking about the little pill you take the morning after. We’re talking about that good girl friend who takes care of the guy anytime of the day or night, the girl who is always there for him, the girl who usually gets screwed over once or twice or 320498 times.
I’m driving back home today, thoughts whizzing through my brain, connecting one thing to the next to the next until I’m thinking about what my favorite flower is when I started off by thinking about gas prices.
Don’t date a writer or an English major.