Over Thinking

Over Thinking 010: Roommate Habits, Dating a Coworker, & #shootyourshot2018

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

In an attempt not to procrastinate, I've set reminders to schedule new upcoming posts.
We'll get through this together, I promise :')

 

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Life

Consistency vs. Intensity

I was standing in line at Starbucks and scrolling through the plethora of videos on my FB feed because that's basically what FB is, am I right?! Usually, I don't watch or stream any videos because I'm not on an unlimited data plan and am constantly paying $15/month extra for those overage charges (oops), but I had already connected to that free wifi, so I felt like a video-watching baller.

I then came across this video:

I nodded along after every sentence, as I believed in it as well. It's not about the intensity; it's about the consistency of the little things that accumulate over time. And no, we aren't talking about the little materialistic things (although stacks on stacks on staaaaacks of Gucci bags are nice tbh).

We're talking about the small gestures,
the unspoken acts of kindness,
the sweet moments of give and take, with you altruistically and unknowingly giving much more than taking.

 

I went through the comments per usual, and scrolled through waaaaay more negative feedback than I would have imagined. To me, the argument of consistency versus intensity seemed, well… 

obvious,

but to quite a few others, it wasn't as black and white as such.

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 008: Post-Grad Crises, Career Choices, & My Soundcloud is FIRE

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Where in the world did February go? Or January, for that matter? 

I'm beginning to really identify with people who tell me that time really flies once you get into your mid-late 20s. Quarters/semesters in high school and college used to feel like they

d r a g g e d  o n  &  o n  &  o n . . .

and now, I can barely remember where the days/weeks/months have gone. Yikes.

In any case, that is no excuse for me leaving your questions + thoughts unanswered, so I will do my best to keep up a more regular schedule. I've noticed that a bunch of these questions are always centered around two things: 

confidence and careers

I've written a post on confidence (or rather, conning yourself into thinking you're confident), but maybe a career post (or video!) will be coming soon! In the meantime, let me answer some of your questions that have been collecting dust in my ask box! 
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Modern Love

At the beginning of 2017, I made a short video lying in bed with some fairly realistic goals to start off my year. Throughout my highs and lows of 2017, I found myself remembering that video and those goals, reminding myself that I had some work to do and to not let the January 1st, 2017 version of myself down.

My goals were simple: 

  1. Write at least 1 blog post every two weeks on my personal blog
  2. Get a pay raise or start a new job
  3. Submit a piece of writing to the New York Times
  4. Hang out with more people one on one (and make them play Pie Face)
  5. Help as many people as possible with things involving writing

 

They were all fairly easy.

Ok jk they totally weren't, and I was going to give a quick overview here, but as I started to develop a little on each topic, the post got longer and longer, so click here for a separate post on a brief overview of my goals and how they were/weren't achieved. 

A good way to set goals for yourself, both long-term and short, is to set realistic goals for yourself; there's no way I'm going to learn how to be invisible by the end of the year, so I'm probably not going to set a goal as "Learn how to be invisible," unless I'm talking about being invisible in a social setting, like metaphorically, in which case, ok maybe. However, setting a goal that isn't impossible but is challenging enough, and is well within your Zone of Proximal Development (ayeee Masters Degree in work okaaaay), is optimal. 

And long story short, I kind of achieved all or parts of each goal that I set for myself…

except for one.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 005: Emptiness and Comfort, Wanting More Friends, & Self-Reliance

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

This month had a surprisingly interesting theme — surprising because so many of you had such diverse yet similar thoughts on the topic of friendship

Friendship is a concept that evolves in such a peculiar way:

When we're young, we're told to be nice and make friends; share with one another and be kind, regardless of how long you've known them.
When we're teenagers, friends can change based on factors ranging from family troubles to who stuffs their bra to who stole your crush.
When we're young adults, we realize that friends are important, but going on dates or finding "the one" is even more important.
When we're older, we don't know who to trust anymore, and we become skeptical of everything and everyone.

And when we're Lil Uzi, all our friends are dead.

Alright, I won't make you read any more than you should, because I answered all of these questions thoughtfully, and we all know that thoughtfully is synonymous to wordy AF.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 003: Dating Older Guys, “He Sucks At Texting,” & Writing Careers

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

You guys are really going in with these anonymous thoughts, questions, and concerns, and I'm so so so humbled each time I get a notification for a new contribution. Keep them coming, for I hope that the anonymous comment box can act as a wall thin wall between you and your problems; you're going to want to keep yourself guarded from these truths, but verbalizing your thoughts is one step closer towards tearing that wall down. I guess the only thing you have to focus on is if you're ready to do that.

Be like Joey in this pic; listen to the wall, understand that these problems might reflect who you are as a person, but remember that your reflection can open the door to change.

Wow that was deep AF.  

Oh also, if these questions are URGENT or TIME SENSITIVE, don't hesitate to mark them as such! These next few sound like they needed answers quickly, so I apologize 🙁

With that being said, lehhgo.

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The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. II

Okay, so there really isn’t a good way to break up with someone,

but there sure are a lot of dumb ass ways to do it.

In continuation of The Ex Files: Break Ups Vol. I, here are more delightful stories of friends getting dumped by some shitty ass people!

Was Your Ex Really Better Than Your Next?

“I once got a phone call from my ex girlfriend telling me that my current girlfriend wanted to break up… so…”

— II

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Ghost Buster.

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-8-50-20-pm

A friend, let’s call her Nina, told me that she had recently been hanging out with a guy that she had been acquaintances with for the past few years. Things were going great, the chemistry was there, and she was really going with the flow — yay! A few dates in, Nina was pretty pleased with where this was going,

until she suddenly realized that she was going nowhere.
Alone.

All of their mediums of conversation (IG, FB, Snap, text) became barren. She had heard of people being ghosted before, but had no clue that it would happen to her, especially since he apparently couldn’t tap his thumbs to text her back but was still double-tapping on all of her photos.

I think the most irritating part for me was that I was very upfront about my intentions. In hanging out and getting to know each other, I was looking for a partner/bae/boyfriend/husband/baby daddy. I told him right off the bat that we were both big kids and should just be honest about everything. If he wasn’t feeling it, why couldn’t he just say it?

I’m an adult. 

The heartbreak? I could handle.

The “not knowing” was the part I couldn’t.

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FUN Night Stands | Vol. II

Your 20’s, 30’s … 40’s? 50’s?! (I’m not judging) are for moments of laughter, love, and amazing stories that usually start with a swipe right and end with dignity left behind.

Last year, I conducted research for an article via Facebook status, but I ended up with an abundance of useless stories that made me chuckle and realize that my friends are crazy as hell. I think upon first meeting, most people think I’m a wild child and have interesting stories due to the fact that I used to school everyone on Tinder, but unfortunately, that’s not the case.

Luckily, I do know people who are wild and interesting, so please enjoy the second volume of FUN Night Stands, and if you haven’t read the first one,

are we even really friends?

Enjoy.

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Cheat Codes (Of Conduct In A Relationship)

As I was scrolling through a million pics of KarJenner look-alikes on Tumblr one evening, I decided to sift through my drafts — these posts were most likely created at 3am on my bed in my college apartment, as I questioned my life, but most importantly, asked myself constantly, “Y DON’T BOYZ LYKE ME?”

Then, I found this:

“What are your feelings towards dating someone who has cheated on you in the past (not on you)? If you’ve cheated in a past relationship, is it your obligation to tell your new partner? What are your feelings towards dating someone new who knows that you’ve cheated in the past? What would you do or say (if anything) to your person about your past?

(don’t forget you have 2 people who answered this question in your inbox + potential blog post)”

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