Over Thinking

Over Thinking 010: Roommate Habits, Dating a Coworker, & #shootyourshot2018

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

In an attempt not to procrastinate, I've set reminders to schedule new upcoming posts.
We'll get through this together, I promise :')

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 009: Alcohol Makes Me Less Awk, 32 YO Male Chinese-American Struggle, & Once A Cheater

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Hello, is this thing on?

It's me, Christina!

Remember?

Yes, yes, it's been a while, but I feel like I've strayed away from my writing as of late, and I'm just trying to recenter myself. It's not that I've been off center; rather, I feel like I've just developed a new equilibrium

and am trying to find that new balance
(not the Nikes). 

I'm so grateful for all the new followers I've gained this past year, and I forget that people are new and haven't gotten the chance to get vulnerable with me. After having posted it on my Instagram last week, I felt like I pressed the refresh button on my blog, my open mind, and my open heart.

There were a ton of new vulnerabilities submitted, and I promise I'll get to all of them in the next few posts. With that, let's get into some of your anonymous thoughts and questions!

 

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Life

Consistency vs. Intensity

I was standing in line at Starbucks and scrolling through the plethora of videos on my FB feed because that's basically what FB is, am I right?! Usually, I don't watch or stream any videos because I'm not on an unlimited data plan and am constantly paying $15/month extra for those overage charges (oops), but I had already connected to that free wifi, so I felt like a video-watching baller.

I then came across this video:

I nodded along after every sentence, as I believed in it as well. It's not about the intensity; it's about the consistency of the little things that accumulate over time. And no, we aren't talking about the little materialistic things (although stacks on stacks on staaaaacks of Gucci bags are nice tbh).

We're talking about the small gestures,
the unspoken acts of kindness,
the sweet moments of give and take, with you altruistically and unknowingly giving much more than taking.

 

I went through the comments per usual, and scrolled through waaaaay more negative feedback than I would have imagined. To me, the argument of consistency versus intensity seemed, well… 

obvious,

but to quite a few others, it wasn't as black and white as such.

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 008: Post-Grad Crises, Career Choices, & My Soundcloud is FIRE

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Where in the world did February go? Or January, for that matter? 

I'm beginning to really identify with people who tell me that time really flies once you get into your mid-late 20s. Quarters/semesters in high school and college used to feel like they

d r a g g e d  o n  &  o n  &  o n . . .

and now, I can barely remember where the days/weeks/months have gone. Yikes.

In any case, that is no excuse for me leaving your questions + thoughts unanswered, so I will do my best to keep up a more regular schedule. I've noticed that a bunch of these questions are always centered around two things: 

confidence and careers

I've written a post on confidence (or rather, conning yourself into thinking you're confident), but maybe a career post (or video!) will be coming soon! In the meantime, let me answer some of your questions that have been collecting dust in my ask box! 
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Uncategorized

Modern Love

At the beginning of 2017, I made a short video lying in bed with some fairly realistic goals to start off my year. Throughout my highs and lows of 2017, I found myself remembering that video and those goals, reminding myself that I had some work to do and to not let the January 1st, 2017 version of myself down.

My goals were simple: 

  1. Write at least 1 blog post every two weeks on my personal blog
  2. Get a pay raise or start a new job
  3. Submit a piece of writing to the New York Times
  4. Hang out with more people one on one (and make them play Pie Face)
  5. Help as many people as possible with things involving writing

 

They were all fairly easy.

Ok jk they totally weren't, and I was going to give a quick overview here, but as I started to develop a little on each topic, the post got longer and longer, so click here for a separate post on a brief overview of my goals and how they were/weren't achieved. 

A good way to set goals for yourself, both long-term and short, is to set realistic goals for yourself; there's no way I'm going to learn how to be invisible by the end of the year, so I'm probably not going to set a goal as "Learn how to be invisible," unless I'm talking about being invisible in a social setting, like metaphorically, in which case, ok maybe. However, setting a goal that isn't impossible but is challenging enough, and is well within your Zone of Proximal Development (ayeee Masters Degree in work okaaaay), is optimal. 

And long story short, I kind of achieved all or parts of each goal that I set for myself…

except for one.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 007: Feeling SINGLE AF, Going Through Your S.O.’s Phone, & Seeking Help

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Old blog, who dis? 

Ok but in all honesty, I apologize deeply; I quit my job and started a new one, I have been trying to vlog once a week and create some video content here and there, and I'm just tired.

Like all the time. 
IT IS THE WORST. 

 

However, that is no excuse, so let's get to your anonymous submissions! 
 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 005: Emptiness and Comfort, Wanting More Friends, & Self-Reliance

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

This month had a surprisingly interesting theme — surprising because so many of you had such diverse yet similar thoughts on the topic of friendship

Friendship is a concept that evolves in such a peculiar way:

When we're young, we're told to be nice and make friends; share with one another and be kind, regardless of how long you've known them.
When we're teenagers, friends can change based on factors ranging from family troubles to who stuffs their bra to who stole your crush.
When we're young adults, we realize that friends are important, but going on dates or finding "the one" is even more important.
When we're older, we don't know who to trust anymore, and we become skeptical of everything and everyone.

And when we're Lil Uzi, all our friends are dead.

Alright, I won't make you read any more than you should, because I answered all of these questions thoughtfully, and we all know that thoughtfully is synonymous to wordy AF.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 004: “He Sucks At Texting” Update, Following Girls on IG Because They’re Cute, & “Dream Girls”

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

First off, sorry I've been so MIA — work stuff + Cough-chella took a toll on my soul, but I've come back to all of your delightful thoughts + confidings! I answered a handful of them in this post, and will finish the rest next time, so keep 'em coming!

For the next round of vulnerabilities,
I want you to explore your goals.
I want to know what you want in life.
I want to know what your biggest motivation is.
I want to know how you plan to get there.

Just some food for thought. Let's continue!

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 003: Dating Older Guys, “He Sucks At Texting,” & Writing Careers

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

You guys are really going in with these anonymous thoughts, questions, and concerns, and I'm so so so humbled each time I get a notification for a new contribution. Keep them coming, for I hope that the anonymous comment box can act as a wall thin wall between you and your problems; you're going to want to keep yourself guarded from these truths, but verbalizing your thoughts is one step closer towards tearing that wall down. I guess the only thing you have to focus on is if you're ready to do that.

Be like Joey in this pic; listen to the wall, understand that these problems might reflect who you are as a person, but remember that your reflection can open the door to change.

Wow that was deep AF.  

Oh also, if these questions are URGENT or TIME SENSITIVE, don't hesitate to mark them as such! These next few sound like they needed answers quickly, so I apologize 🙁

With that being said, lehhgo.

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Life

CON-fidance

After opening up my anonymous ask box last month, I noticed that I was getting quite a few submissions on my confidence, as well as requests for tips on being confident. At first, I responded to one in a light hearted but totally sincere manner:

Whoa, is this like inception because I screenshot my own post?
Anyway,

For the most part, this is exactly how I view my confidence, but lately, I've gone through a lot more slumps and low moments than I'd like, and the only thing that can pull me out of these rutts is 

myself. 

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