Over Thinking

Over Thinking 003: Dating Older Guys, “He Sucks At Texting,” & Writing Careers

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

You guys are really going in with these anonymous thoughts, questions, and concerns, and I'm so so so humbled each time I get a notification for a new contribution. Keep them coming, for I hope that the anonymous comment box can act as a wall thin wall between you and your problems; you're going to want to keep yourself guarded from these truths, but verbalizing your thoughts is one step closer towards tearing that wall down. I guess the only thing you have to focus on is if you're ready to do that.

Be like Joey in this pic; listen to the wall, understand that these problems might reflect who you are as a person, but remember that your reflection can open the door to change.

Wow that was deep AF.  

Oh also, if these questions are URGENT or TIME SENSITIVE, don't hesitate to mark them as such! These next few sound like they needed answers quickly, so I apologize 🙁

With that being said, lehhgo.

Continue reading



After opening up my anonymous ask box last month, I noticed that I was getting quite a few submissions on my confidence, as well as requests for tips on being confident. At first, I responded to one in a light hearted but totally sincere manner:

Whoa, is this like inception because I screenshot my own post?

For the most part, this is exactly how I view my confidence, but lately, I've gone through a lot more slumps and low moments than I'd like, and the only thing that can pull me out of these rutts is 


Continue reading

Small Talk

Small Talk 003: Chivalry’s Resurrection

A friend just got out of a relationship with a guy who wasn't really up to her caliber — he was tall and handsome, but also controlling and untrusting. After a year or so in love, they finally ended their relationship, and she's finally feeling happy and free and, most importantly, ready to date. A friend of a friend introduced her to a new guy, and on their first date, she mentioned that he

  1. was standing outside of his car, waiting for her to come out so he could open the car door for her,
  2. did not take out his phone once while they were out, and she legitimately has no idea what type of a phone he has because she never saw it,
  3. noticed that she was a bit cold and without a thought, took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders

As we're hearing this story and getting giddy in the lunch room, the mood shifts slightly, and we all wonder aloud:

Why is it that when a guy opens a door or gives us his undivided attention or puts a coat over us, we feel surprised/smitten? Why are these acts of decency seen as rarities

Continue reading


No Stress Zone.

If you’re a millennial, you’ve most likely heard at least once in your life that you’re lazy, that you should be more productive, or that you should have been a doctor or lawyer — unless you already are… to which I say

my mom would be v proud of you.


For most of us though, we are looking to become a version of ourselves that we’re proud of.

We’re looking for our calling; we’re looking for that job that doesn’t feel like it’s a job; we’re looking for that rewarding career that makes our hearts (and our wallets) happy.

We are persistently in search of the right path towards happiness, towards fulfillment, towards an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, and with that search comes the notion that we are not working hard enough.

We stay late at work,
even though we’re not getting paid overtime.
We put 240% into any and everything we do
even though we’re not getting recognized.
We can’t do nothing on a Sunday afternoon,
even though we’re the only ones measuring the nothing-ness.

Continue reading

Over Thinking

Over Thinking 001: Intro, Friends, & Riverside Fuccbois


Over Thinking.

For when you’re over-thinking a topic/situation/problem and you just become SO OVER thinking about it.

How do Over Thinking posts work?

At the top of the homepage of underqualifiedAF, you’ll see a string of words:

something on your mind?

Click through and you’ll find an anonymous ask box, where you can share a thought, tell me something good, or get something off your chest. I’ll answer these monthly, and some thoughts might turn into full posts themselves, so seriously,

get vulnerable.


Here we go!

Continue reading


Ghost Buster.


A friend, let’s call her Nina, told me that she had recently been hanging out with a guy that she had been acquaintances with for the past few years. Things were going great, the chemistry was there, and she was really going with the flow — yay! A few dates in, Nina was pretty pleased with where this was going,

until she suddenly realized that she was going nowhere.

All of their mediums of conversation (IG, FB, Snap, text) became barren. She had heard of people being ghosted before, but had no clue that it would happen to her, especially since he apparently couldn’t tap his thumbs to text her back but was still double-tapping on all of her photos.

I think the most irritating part for me was that I was very upfront about my intentions. In hanging out and getting to know each other, I was looking for a partner/bae/boyfriend/husband/baby daddy. I told him right off the bat that we were both big kids and should just be honest about everything. If he wasn’t feeling it, why couldn’t he just say it?

I’m an adult. 

The heartbreak? I could handle.

The “not knowing” was the part I couldn’t.

Continue reading

Small Talk

Small Talk 002: Motivation

An entry in my journal on May 17th, 2016:

"I'll keep this as succinct as possible, but lately, I've been very unmotivated.

Tasks that I should be able to complete effortlessly are put off until 'tomorrow' — 'tomorrow' defined as a black hole in time I use as a definitive excuse.
Tasks that require a lot of effort are reacted to with a sigh, followed by a click onto Facebook as I refresh my feed in an attempt to refresh my mind.

Due dates are not as demanding to me as they once felt; my mind wanders off into daydreams about when I'm due for my next dinner date instead.

I haven't been succeeding,
I haven't been failing,
I haven't been trying.

It's unfortunate that I'm currently in this state of mind when I hadn't even planned to travel; if anything, I'd rather roam to an island of inspiration or even to a continent of confidence."



Continue reading

Small Talk

Small Talk 001: “Did You Say Thank You?”

Have you ever been in a situation where someone asks if you've thanked someone else for something he or she did while the three of you are in the same vicinity? 
I don't understand why people do that because:

1. If I did thank him/her already, are you implying that you think I'm an ungrateful and impolite little mother fucker who doesn't know how to thank someone? 

2. If I didn't thank him because I am an ungrateful and impolite little mother fucker, are you really putting me on the spot in front of that person? 

2a. And if I thank the person now, upon your question, won't he/she think it is fake and forced because IT TOTALLY IS?!

In conclusion,

Thank you


For Mom.

EDIT 05.14.17:

The month of May always signifies a time in which we all look for photos of our moms rocking bangs and huge glasses to post on social media. We see a ton of captions on IG that are surprisingly longer (and easier to write) than a lot of writing assignments in school. Our thoughts flow out effortlessly, as we praise our moms for putting up with us for X amount of years and being sassy AF. 

Sometimes I wonder though — does it stop there?
After 140 characters, after we press the "share" button on the top righthand corner, after we like our friends' comments reinforcing and affirming in fact that yes, our moms DO rule,
does it stop there?

Do any of us take those loving letters that create those sentimental sentences to express those encouraging emotions and tell it to our mothers?

I'm just asking because I know that it's pretty difficult for me to express how I feel IRL, and I can feel nothing but jealousy to all of you who have the courage, the love, and the boldness to share those thoughts directly. 

Alright, now back to this blog post that I'll most likely not have the courage to share with my mom:

Continue reading