Over Thinking

Over Thinking 010: Roommate Habits, Dating a Coworker, & #shootyourshot2018

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

In an attempt not to procrastinate, I've set reminders to schedule new upcoming posts.
We'll get through this together, I promise :')

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 009: Alcohol Makes Me Less Awk, 32 YO Male Chinese-American Struggle, & Once A Cheater

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Hello, is this thing on?

It's me, Christina!

Remember?

Yes, yes, it's been a while, but I feel like I've strayed away from my writing as of late, and I'm just trying to recenter myself. It's not that I've been off center; rather, I feel like I've just developed a new equilibrium

and am trying to find that new balance
(not the Nikes). 

I'm so grateful for all the new followers I've gained this past year, and I forget that people are new and haven't gotten the chance to get vulnerable with me. After having posted it on my Instagram last week, I felt like I pressed the refresh button on my blog, my open mind, and my open heart.

There were a ton of new vulnerabilities submitted, and I promise I'll get to all of them in the next few posts. With that, let's get into some of your anonymous thoughts and questions!

 

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Life

Consistency vs. Intensity

I was standing in line at Starbucks and scrolling through the plethora of videos on my FB feed because that's basically what FB is, am I right?! Usually, I don't watch or stream any videos because I'm not on an unlimited data plan and am constantly paying $15/month extra for those overage charges (oops), but I had already connected to that free wifi, so I felt like a video-watching baller.

I then came across this video:

I nodded along after every sentence, as I believed in it as well. It's not about the intensity; it's about the consistency of the little things that accumulate over time. And no, we aren't talking about the little materialistic things (although stacks on stacks on staaaaacks of Gucci bags are nice tbh).

We're talking about the small gestures,
the unspoken acts of kindness,
the sweet moments of give and take, with you altruistically and unknowingly giving much more than taking.

 

I went through the comments per usual, and scrolled through waaaaay more negative feedback than I would have imagined. To me, the argument of consistency versus intensity seemed, well… 

obvious,

but to quite a few others, it wasn't as black and white as such.

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 008: Post-Grad Crises, Career Choices, & My Soundcloud is FIRE

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Where in the world did February go? Or January, for that matter? 

I'm beginning to really identify with people who tell me that time really flies once you get into your mid-late 20s. Quarters/semesters in high school and college used to feel like they

d r a g g e d  o n  &  o n  &  o n . . .

and now, I can barely remember where the days/weeks/months have gone. Yikes.

In any case, that is no excuse for me leaving your questions + thoughts unanswered, so I will do my best to keep up a more regular schedule. I've noticed that a bunch of these questions are always centered around two things: 

confidence and careers

I've written a post on confidence (or rather, conning yourself into thinking you're confident), but maybe a career post (or video!) will be coming soon! In the meantime, let me answer some of your questions that have been collecting dust in my ask box! 
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Life

2017 Goal Recap: Get a Raise/Find a New Job, Create Consistently, & Help Others re: Resumes, Cover Letters, Personal Statements

If you're reading this, it's too late (sorry, I couldn't resist finishing the sentence like that even though it's 400% irrelevant). Ok, but seriously, if you're reading this, you've either been redirected from my Modern Love post, or you just found this because of the very enticing title — and by enticing, I mean the run-on sentence of a title because succintness has never really been my thing. 

The goals are in the first 1:30, so you can stop after that, unless you want to watch my year of ratchetness. Be my guest, but just make sure to come back here!

So, did I get everything done? Let's break it down – but quickly, because we all have shit to do (or do we). 

 

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Uncategorized

Modern Love

At the beginning of 2017, I made a short video lying in bed with some fairly realistic goals to start off my year. Throughout my highs and lows of 2017, I found myself remembering that video and those goals, reminding myself that I had some work to do and to not let the January 1st, 2017 version of myself down.

My goals were simple: 

  1. Write at least 1 blog post every two weeks on my personal blog
  2. Get a pay raise or start a new job
  3. Submit a piece of writing to the New York Times
  4. Hang out with more people one on one (and make them play Pie Face)
  5. Help as many people as possible with things involving writing

 

They were all fairly easy.

Ok jk they totally weren't, and I was going to give a quick overview here, but as I started to develop a little on each topic, the post got longer and longer, so click here for a separate post on a brief overview of my goals and how they were/weren't achieved. 

A good way to set goals for yourself, both long-term and short, is to set realistic goals for yourself; there's no way I'm going to learn how to be invisible by the end of the year, so I'm probably not going to set a goal as "Learn how to be invisible," unless I'm talking about being invisible in a social setting, like metaphorically, in which case, ok maybe. However, setting a goal that isn't impossible but is challenging enough, and is well within your Zone of Proximal Development (ayeee Masters Degree in work okaaaay), is optimal. 

And long story short, I kind of achieved all or parts of each goal that I set for myself…

except for one.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 007: Feeling SINGLE AF, Going Through Your S.O.’s Phone, & Seeking Help

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Old blog, who dis? 

Ok but in all honesty, I apologize deeply; I quit my job and started a new one, I have been trying to vlog once a week and create some video content here and there, and I'm just tired.

Like all the time. 
IT IS THE WORST. 

 

However, that is no excuse, so let's get to your anonymous submissions! 
 

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Uncategorized

#FriendshipRoles

Long story medium, I used to be involved with a guy who wound up having a girlfriend the entire time. What a plot twist, am I right?

Following the news, a lot of my anger and frustration were directed towards him, but at one point, I had to park the car and put it in reverse and reexamine the situation.

I was friends with his friends long before I met him — why didn’t they do anything to help fix this terrible situation? 

I took many normal things into consideration:

  • They were closer to him – both in friendship and in proximity.
  • They knew the girlfriend.
  • #BROCODE.

I knew these factors could be put into play, and I accepted it for what it was worth.

After months had passed, I ran into one of our mutual friends at one of those “electronic dance music gatherings.” As the music took over and I was hit with the feels, I beckoned for the friend and whispered into his ear aka I screamed over the bass and it was still 250% inaudible.

Hey, how come you never advised your boy not to be such a shady fucker? Didn’t you feel bad for me or for his girlfriend or even for his future karma points?! I was honestly kind of upset at you but I got over it and just became more curious as to why you didn’t try to help your friend do the right thing…

Even in my ecstatic state of mind, I was still able to think realistically, already expecting an answer centered around the normal things I had taken into consideration previously. However, he answered:

I can’t tell him what to do; he’s an adult and can make his own decisions. 

*Cue the tires screeching*

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