Over Thinking

Over Thinking 010: Roommate Habits, Dating a Coworker, & #shootyourshot2018

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

In an attempt not to procrastinate, I've set reminders to schedule new upcoming posts.
We'll get through this together, I promise :')

 

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Life

Consistency vs. Intensity

I was standing in line at Starbucks and scrolling through the plethora of videos on my FB feed because that's basically what FB is, am I right?! Usually, I don't watch or stream any videos because I'm not on an unlimited data plan and am constantly paying $15/month extra for those overage charges (oops), but I had already connected to that free wifi, so I felt like a video-watching baller.

I then came across this video:

I nodded along after every sentence, as I believed in it as well. It's not about the intensity; it's about the consistency of the little things that accumulate over time. And no, we aren't talking about the little materialistic things (although stacks on stacks on staaaaacks of Gucci bags are nice tbh).

We're talking about the small gestures,
the unspoken acts of kindness,
the sweet moments of give and take, with you altruistically and unknowingly giving much more than taking.

 

I went through the comments per usual, and scrolled through waaaaay more negative feedback than I would have imagined. To me, the argument of consistency versus intensity seemed, well… 

obvious,

but to quite a few others, it wasn't as black and white as such.

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 008: Post-Grad Crises, Career Choices, & My Soundcloud is FIRE

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Where in the world did February go? Or January, for that matter? 

I'm beginning to really identify with people who tell me that time really flies once you get into your mid-late 20s. Quarters/semesters in high school and college used to feel like they

d r a g g e d  o n  &  o n  &  o n . . .

and now, I can barely remember where the days/weeks/months have gone. Yikes.

In any case, that is no excuse for me leaving your questions + thoughts unanswered, so I will do my best to keep up a more regular schedule. I've noticed that a bunch of these questions are always centered around two things: 

confidence and careers

I've written a post on confidence (or rather, conning yourself into thinking you're confident), but maybe a career post (or video!) will be coming soon! In the meantime, let me answer some of your questions that have been collecting dust in my ask box! 
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Life

2017 Goal Recap: Get a Raise/Find a New Job, Create Consistently, & Help Others re: Resumes, Cover Letters, Personal Statements

If you're reading this, it's too late (sorry, I couldn't resist finishing the sentence like that even though it's 400% irrelevant). Ok, but seriously, if you're reading this, you've either been redirected from my Modern Love post, or you just found this because of the very enticing title — and by enticing, I mean the run-on sentence of a title because succintness has never really been my thing. 

The goals are in the first 1:30, so you can stop after that, unless you want to watch my year of ratchetness. Be my guest, but just make sure to come back here!

So, did I get everything done? Let's break it down – but quickly, because we all have shit to do (or do we). 

 

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Uncategorized

Modern Love

At the beginning of 2017, I made a short video lying in bed with some fairly realistic goals to start off my year. Throughout my highs and lows of 2017, I found myself remembering that video and those goals, reminding myself that I had some work to do and to not let the January 1st, 2017 version of myself down.

My goals were simple: 

  1. Write at least 1 blog post every two weeks on my personal blog
  2. Get a pay raise or start a new job
  3. Submit a piece of writing to the New York Times
  4. Hang out with more people one on one (and make them play Pie Face)
  5. Help as many people as possible with things involving writing

 

They were all fairly easy.

Ok jk they totally weren't, and I was going to give a quick overview here, but as I started to develop a little on each topic, the post got longer and longer, so click here for a separate post on a brief overview of my goals and how they were/weren't achieved. 

A good way to set goals for yourself, both long-term and short, is to set realistic goals for yourself; there's no way I'm going to learn how to be invisible by the end of the year, so I'm probably not going to set a goal as "Learn how to be invisible," unless I'm talking about being invisible in a social setting, like metaphorically, in which case, ok maybe. However, setting a goal that isn't impossible but is challenging enough, and is well within your Zone of Proximal Development (ayeee Masters Degree in work okaaaay), is optimal. 

And long story short, I kind of achieved all or parts of each goal that I set for myself…

except for one.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 007: Feeling SINGLE AF, Going Through Your S.O.’s Phone, & Seeking Help

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

Old blog, who dis? 

Ok but in all honesty, I apologize deeply; I quit my job and started a new one, I have been trying to vlog once a week and create some video content here and there, and I'm just tired.

Like all the time. 
IT IS THE WORST. 

 

However, that is no excuse, so let's get to your anonymous submissions! 
 

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Life

Friends in the Work Place — How to Put the “Work” in Co-WORKer

Working with friends sounds like a dream: you have someone to bitch about your boss with, you have the same schedules (meaning the same free time for happy hours), and — most importantly —

you have someone to sit with at lunch.

With the good times come the bad, of course, and you might find yourself in a situation where your friend isn't putting in the work, your friend is making you look bad by association, or your friend is making you be the bad guy. Here's a textual situation I received from someone who hired her friend at the company she works at:

Animated GIF  - Find & Share on GIPHY

Yikes.

 

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 004: “He Sucks At Texting” Update, Following Girls on IG Because They’re Cute, & “Dream Girls”

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

First off, sorry I've been so MIA — work stuff + Cough-chella took a toll on my soul, but I've come back to all of your delightful thoughts + confidings! I answered a handful of them in this post, and will finish the rest next time, so keep 'em coming!

For the next round of vulnerabilities,
I want you to explore your goals.
I want to know what you want in life.
I want to know what your biggest motivation is.
I want to know how you plan to get there.

Just some food for thought. Let's continue!

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Over Thinking

Over Thinking 003: Dating Older Guys, “He Sucks At Texting,” & Writing Careers

If you're still not familiar with the Over Thinking series, click here to familiarize yourself.

You guys are really going in with these anonymous thoughts, questions, and concerns, and I'm so so so humbled each time I get a notification for a new contribution. Keep them coming, for I hope that the anonymous comment box can act as a wall thin wall between you and your problems; you're going to want to keep yourself guarded from these truths, but verbalizing your thoughts is one step closer towards tearing that wall down. I guess the only thing you have to focus on is if you're ready to do that.

Be like Joey in this pic; listen to the wall, understand that these problems might reflect who you are as a person, but remember that your reflection can open the door to change.

Wow that was deep AF.  

Oh also, if these questions are URGENT or TIME SENSITIVE, don't hesitate to mark them as such! These next few sound like they needed answers quickly, so I apologize 🙁

With that being said, lehhgo.

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Life

CON-fidance

After opening up my anonymous ask box last month, I noticed that I was getting quite a few submissions on my confidence, as well as requests for tips on being confident. At first, I responded to one in a light hearted but totally sincere manner:

Whoa, is this like inception because I screenshot my own post?
Anyway,

For the most part, this is exactly how I view my confidence, but lately, I've gone through a lot more slumps and low moments than I'd like, and the only thing that can pull me out of these rutts is 

myself. 

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