underqualified as f_ck

It’s a Wednesday night and my roommate is flipping through DVDs, looking for something to watch, something that we don’t have to think hard to understand yet will intrigue us enough to provide for a few chuckles, one or two outbursts at a bitchy character, and a happy ending. We decided on the RomCom “Just Wright” with Queen Latifah, Common, and an actress whose name I’m too lazy to look up on IMDB. Little did I know that the movie would basically sum up my dating life.. kind of not really but secretly. I couldn’t help but think about the idea of being the “Plan B” girl, and no, we aren’t talking about the little pill you take the morning after. We’re talking about that good girl friend who takes care of the guy anytime of the day or night, the girl who is always there for him, the girl who usually gets screwed over once or twice or 320498 times.

Ladies, I’m definitely not saying that every guy friend you have is making you a Plan B. It’s really cool nowadays to say you have a lot of guy friends, that you’re one of the bros, that you’re just a homie, so you’re TOTALLY fine. However, don’t try to deny to me that there isn’t at least one guy friend that you care a little extra about, a guy who dates the wrong girls and gets hurt and you just want to care for even though he didn’t listen to you in the first place about her, a guy that takes you out on your birthday for a nicer dinner than your actual boyfriend would, a guy that you wouldn’t mind dating. You can tell me I’m wrong, that you care a lot for your guy friends as you would any of your other girl friends, and that I’m just thirsty with my own life for my own guy friends, but honestly, you’re just defending yourself to a girl through a computer 100+ miles away from you. So just be honest with yourself, and think about it. There’s that guy, that one guy that you wish would (in the wise words of Miguel), “Love you like a brother, treat you like a friend, respect you like a lover, oooh waah, ooh wahhh…” However, feeling like you’re a Plan B isn’t all that great; Queen Latifah realized she was one and told Common that she didn’t want to be treated like a last resort, and I found myself nodding my head and passionately yelling to the TV, “You go Glen Coco!” Why should you have to feel like this ladies? Because you don’t want to ruin a great friendship? Because you don’t want to get rejected? Because you just don’t feel like you’re actually a Plan B? Well all of these are great excuses, but in the end, I just want to let you know that you deserve a little better, and that ‘better’ can come in the form of telling your best friend how you feel, or finding yourself a new boyfriend. Don’t stick around to be a last resort because we all deserve to be a first pick.

Gentlemen, don’t think I’m blaming you guys for any of this, and ladies, please take this into account. Most of the time, guys are not even aware that this is happening; they think that their girl friends are their best friends and they’re just another dude that happens to have a vagina. I surveyed a few of my guy friends, ranging from the douchiest boys to the sweetest of sweethearts, and surprisingly, after asking if they had a type of Plan B girl, they responded with answers along the lines of, “I’m not THAT heartless are you serious” and “I would never do that.” When I explained to them characteristics of a Plan B, I could feel a little mental breakthrough via Facebook chat; they were realizing that they had some girl friends like that, but they had never thought that the girl may actually feel like a last resort, a Plan B, a second choice.

Guys, you may not be aware of it, but your best friend might lowkey highkey middlekey actually be down to be your lady friend.
Think back to those nights when she would text you, “I mean I don’t really know the girl, but if she did that to you, she’s not worth it. You deserve so much better than that, and you’ll find her soon :)”.
Think back to those times where your girlfriend couldn’t pick you up from the airport because she was “busy” and you called your friend to see if she could come get you, and she came with In-N-Out waiting for you in the car.
Think back to when you flaked in plans with her for a hot girl that you just met at a bar, and how she told you, “It’s fine! Go have fun! We’ll hang out another time!”

I’m not saying guys are naive, and I’m not saying all girls think of their guy friends like this.

However, if you find yourself feeling a little sad after reading this because you realized that you’re a Plan B, make yourself realize that you are a Plan A. You’re a super star. Go do something awesome and find someone amazing, whether it be your best friend or not.
If you find yourself feeling a little confused after reading this because you realized that you might have a girl friend who acts like this and never knew that she might actually think of herself as a Plan B.. now you know!
And if you find yourself feeling nothing new because you’re aware that you have a girl on lock as a Plan B, make sure you don’t screw up with the delicate factors such as timing and feelings.

If you make her a Plan B, she may not Plan to B around in your life much longer and find something better!

-XK