underqualified as f_ck

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Here’s a summary/agenda of what’s going down in this week’s blog post:

– Intro (hey how r u 2day/wow thnx 4 all the views last week)
– Gym locker story (copy/pasted from FB with 103 likes wow ty guys)
– Deeper reading/analysis of the gym locker story in regards to life in general (English major’s way of making every life event seemingly meaningful #symbolism)
– Closing statement/logistics for future blog posts.

Let’s get started!

 

Hey everyone! It’s me, Christina! I vowed to write one blog post a week in 2015, and even though it’s Friday and I’ve bombarded social media with my writing this week (Steezy post on Wednesday, lonnnggg ass FB post Thursday [which I’ll be posting below because it is the topic of discussion]), I decided to try and keep it #consistent2015. It’s only like the 3rd week of the new year; I can’t fuck up. Yet.

Anyhow, just quickly touching on last week’s blog post, I just want to say that I did not expect so much feedback from it and I feel like everyone thinks I’m a filthy gypsy scoundrel, but it’s cool. If you know me for reals, you’ll know what’s #tru and what’s not, and as long as my homies got my back, that’s all the affirmation I need *insert emoji fist bump sign signifying that I’m ok with all of this*. In conclusion, there were barely any likes/comments on the post, so I assumed no one was really reading it. However, after getting a ton of private messages on the article as well as even text messages — one sent to me at like 11pm without even a “hi” or “hello” but just bluntly a “btw choking feels amazing” — I’ve decided that everyone enjoyed that article secretly, but didn’t want to associate themselves with it publicly. Which is fine because it was way awkward for me to even write that to begin with… haha.

Moving on! Ok, so like I said before, I promoted a lot of online literacy this week, and though I appreciate each of you as readers, I don’t want you to get tired of reading what I write, so if you skip this blog post, I’ll forgive you.

With that, I’m going to copy/paste what happened to me at the gym last night… sigh. If you’ve already read it, you can scroll past it and read the next section! If you haven’t read it, well, here’s another peculiar event that happens in my life. Sigh.

Thursday, January 22, 2015 [6:19PM]

I really did not want to go to the gym today, but after all the pizza and ice cream I ate yesterday, followed by the KBBQ and acai bowl I ate today, the gym was calling my name. I was so full and unwilling to work out that I told myself if I didn’t find parking within 2 minutes, it was a sign to go home. Plus it was like 5pm — the gym is always busy around then.

Of course I get there and the best parking spot in the front that’s aways taken is WIDE OPEN. Sigh. The universe was definitely telling me something.

I grudgingly walk into the gym, change in the bathroom, and put my bag in a locker (with only my clothes, shoes, and keys). I never put a lock on because the average age of my gym members is about 65 so I think if someone were to steal my shit, they wouldn’t get very far. Ahh yes, faith in humanity.

I work out for a little and get a call to come home because we’re going out for dinner. I stop running (on the elliptical guys don’t get too impressed now) and stretch like one calf for like 12 seconds and then call it a day.

I walk back into the bathroom and go to the lockers…. And all of my stuff is stolen. And ugh I should get a lock dammit so now my day is ruined sigh /: you’re probably saying, “I told you so!” 😦

AIGHT GUYS THATS A NORMAL STORY. BUT THATS NOT MY STORY.

Ok so I walk back into the bathroom and go to the lockers… To find that my locker now has a lock on it. I’m so perplexed; I’ve literally been there for like 30 minutes. When did this even happen? I go through all 100 lockers, just to make sure someone didn’t move my bag because they REALLY wanted my one locker in the corner. Maybe that’s someone’s special locker, I do not know. I go through the lockers again, and one more time, and check the showers and even the sauna — the person could have gotten creative. But no such luck. Sigh.

I finally go up to the front desk and tell the large buff man that my locker… Now had a lock on it.

“…Oh man! Are you serious? Why does this keep happening?!”

..what. Ok. Anyway, he paces for a bit, muttering under his breath like genuinely upset and confused as to why this keeps happening, and then calls over another manager. The other guy looks at me and asks, “Have you used bolt cutters before?”

..what.

“No not really.”

He brings over these huge bolt cutters and asks if I’m strong, to which the first guy chimes in saying, “Yeah she’s pretty strong,” to which I’m wondering how and why he would know that seeing as I talk to absolutely no one at the gym, and all I do is prance on the elliptical. Ok sir, we’ll go into that mystery next time. Anyway, he shows me how to use them and says good luck, as I thank him for my daily dose of strength and resistance.

I walk into the bathroom and get the cutters right around that bad boy and push together as if my life depended on it, and it broke open! I FELT SO ACCOMPLISHED, THERE WAS A MILD ROSIE THE RIVETER MOMENT. I open the locker to see if someone combined our items…

But it was just my bag. With everything in it. What.

I return the bolt cutters and the broken lock, telling the guy there was nothing new in there, and he told me that maybe this was a weird prank people were doing. I told him these are like humanitarian pranksters, offering safety towards my goods but also inconvenience because they don’t give me the key to the lock. I don’t know how I feel about it, but either way, I CUT OPEN A LOCK TODAY!

He told me I should feel accomplished.
I told him I was going to write a Facebook status about it.
Then we made out.
Just kidding.

In conclusion,

What the hell is going on at the gym…

 

Ok so after this all happened, of course my English major self couldn’t keep from questioning if there was a deeper meaning behind this. The fact that someone put a lock on my possessions was kind of bizarre to me, intriguing though. Though the things I put in the locker were not that important (except my car keys ok I know), I put faith in humanity to treat my shit right and respectfully. I let myself be vulnerable to the world; in this situation, my personal belongings were left to be taken at any point by anyone.

However, the fact that instead, in this incredibly vulnerable state, someone chose to lock up my possessions rather than steal them was perplexing. In some sense, you would think that I would feel grateful (which I was, imagine my car being stolen shit my mom would kill me), but at that point, I was helpless once again. This person put their own lock on my shit; they were protecting me, but I didn’t ask to be protected, nor do I have a choice at this point. Does that make sense?

This person “protected” my vulnerability – my possessions, my emotions – yet… I didn’t ask for this help. And if I didn’t want to be vulnerable anymore, if I wanted to grab my belongings and go home, well… I couldn’t. Because I didn’t have the damn key. The help was unsolicited, as was the helplessness that I felt.

So when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Or in this case, you cut some bolts.

“You’re going to have to go do it yourself; I’m a man and I can’t go into the ladies’ locker room.”

You can get the tools to break yourself free; anyone can hand them to you. However, there are always going to be limitations, exceptions, and excuses that will prevent anyone else from helping you. YOU have to go in and help yourself, break free from people who are holding you back, BREAK THE DAMN LOCK THAT YOU DIDN’T PUT ON. So when I cut open the lock, not only was I excited that I had successfully used bolt cutters for the first time, but I was liberated. I could grab my possessions, I could leave them there, I could be vulnerable once again if I wanted to — I had the choice and the freedom.

In life, getting help should be appreciated (for the most part), whether you’re asking for it or not. However, you always need to make sure to realize that it is YOU who is making these life decisions, especially on matters of vulnerability. If you want to be vulnerable, and someone is trying to protect you and keep you from getting hurt, the gesture is sweet, but it’s not what you need. If you want to keep your feelings in your heart with the door closed, but not locked, that’s fine; have faith that someone will be willing to open the door and understand what you’re going through. If you want to keep you clothes locked in your locker because you’re worried people will steal your shit, that’s also fine; it’s better to be safe than to be sorry!

Whatever you decide, have a pair of bolt cutters just in case.

In conclusion,

I told my aunt this story and she was like, “Wait, was the locker next to you open but had clothes in it? Because maybe an old person put her stuff in that locker and then locked the one next to it by accident…” And I’m like trying to think if there were clothes in the locker next to me. But then I decided that the story isn’t funny if that’s the case so I’m going to just say no.

 

In regards to future posts, if you ever have any suggestions for writings, feel free to shoot me a message/text! I love new inspiration!

Also also, I’m going to start doing random vlog posts once in a while, including but not limited to low budget concept videos with bad dancing, playing drunk games, and interviewing people for absolutely no reason. If you’re interested/ever want to be in a future, don’t hesitate to holler at me with a FB message saying like,

hey xtina, you’re so cool, let’s do cool things together.

Seen at 2:24pm.

Lol. Have a gr8 weekend and GL to everyone at VIBE this Sunday! Find me so we can take selfies!